CIRCUS AND CLOWNS

CIRCUS

CIRCUS

I AM AN ACTOR’S SON
WHOSE PARENTS WERE ACTORS
I’M TO THE MANNER BORN

MY MOTHER
WAS A GENTLE DRUID PRIESTESS
WHO TAUGHT ME TO BELIEVE
IN LITTLE PEOPLE
FOLK MEDICINE
DREAMS
TEA LEAVES
GENTLENESS

MY FATHER
NEVER FORGOT THE STAGE
WITHOUT TRYING
HE’D BE CENTER STAGE
HE’D ACT LIKE A MILLIONAIRE
WITH A HOLE IN HIS SHOE
ACCENTS
DIALOGUE
IMPROVISATION
A MARVEL OF IMAGINATION
AND EGO
NEEDED TO CARRY SUCH A BURDEN

WE WERE DEPRESSION CHILDREN
MY SISTERS AND I
BUT NEVER POOR
THOUGH TIMES WERE TIGHT
AND MONEY NONEXISTENT
BUT WE WERE NEVER POOR

VAUDEVILLE HAD FOLDED
HE’D BECOME
A PARKING GARAGE MANAGER
SERVICING THE BIG HOTELS
ONLY THE BEST
OFTEN HE’D WALK TO WORK
TO SAVE A DIME
BUT HE NEVER FORGOT THE STAGE

MY MOTHER
SEA CAPTAIN’S DAUGHTER
IMMIGRANT
FROM NEWFOUNDLAND
KEEPER OF THE ENGLISH TRADITION
OF GOOD MANNERS
FINDING HER WORLD TOO SMALL
WANTING TO TRY OURS
THE AMERICAN DREAM
AND BRINGING WITH HER
THE SURE KNOWLEDGE
THAT A CUPPA TEA
COULD FIX MOST EVERYTHING

MY FATHER
WOULD GET FREE TICKETS TO THE CIRCUS
FOR PUTTING POSTERS IN THE GARAGE WINDOWS
AND WE’D GO
TO FIND THE TICKET TAKER
WAS ALSO THE AERIALIST
THE USHER WAS ALSO THE CLOWN
THE HAWKER WAS ALSO THE ACROBAT
AND WHO KNEW
HOW MANY JOBS HAD THE LION TAMER

IT WAS A WORLD OF WONDER
GLITZ
LIES AND EXAGGERATION
EVERYTHING
WAS BROUGHT FROM EUROPE
WAS EXCEEDINGLY DANGEROUS
THEIR NAMES KEPT CHANGING
FROM FRENCH
TO POLISH
RUSSIAN
THEY WERE OFTEN NOBILITY
THEY WERE OFTEN THE SAME PERSON
WITH MANY NAMES

AND THEIR CARRIAGE
WAS DONE WITH
ELEGANCE
STRENGTH
BRAVERY

MY PARENTS
WERE JUST AS EXCITED
AS WE WERE
WILLING TO LET OUR IMAGINATIONS FLY
WANTING TO JOIN THE CIRCUS

WHEN IT WAS OVER
WE TOOK THE TROLLEY HOME
EACH PARENT WITH TWO CHILDREN
ASLEEP
AND LEANING AGAINST THEM
THEIR ARMS WRAPPED AROUND THEM
RICH IN WONDER
SAFE IN THEIR ARMS
AS THEY TRIED
TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD FOR US

 

 

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ADVANCE MAN (Luke 10:1-11, 16-20)

 

 

 

 

MY FATHER WAS AN ADVANCE MAN FOR MGM

IN 1928

 

HE’D TRIED THE STAGE

BUT VAUDEVILLE WAS FAILING

 

HE WAS A MARRIED MAN

 

 AN ADVANCE MAN WAS PART OF SHOW BUSINESS

 SO HE SWITCHED

 

WHICH IS WHY I WAS BORN IN ST LOUIS

 WE WERE ON THE ROAD

 

MY FATHER WAS ADVANCE MAN

FOR A FILM

THE LAST COMMAND

 

 WE WERE NOT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN THE CIRCUS

 WE’D SHOW UP WITH A PAPER MACHE FLOAT

 DEPICTING THE MOVIE

 AND A CAGE HOLDING LEO THE LION

 

A TIRED

OLD

CIRCUS CASTOFF

 WHO THRILLED THE CROW

 WHEN HE YAWNED

 

WE’D PAPER THE TOWN

GIVING FREE TICKETS FOR DISPLAYING POSTERS

 

OUR JOB WAS TO MAKE A SPONTANEOUS CROWD

COME SEE THE MOVIE

 

IN THOSE DAYS A MOVIE WAS LIKE A STAGE SHOW

IT STAYED IN TOWN

UNTIL THE AUDIENCE LESSENED

BEFORE THAT WE’D BE IN THE NEXT CITY
 

 EVERYTHING WAS HYPERBOLE 

EVERYTHING WAS FRESH FISH

 

THE GREATEST

 

THE ADVANCE MAN HAD TO BE EXCITED ABOUT THE PRODUCT

 JESUS SENT 70 ADVANCE MEN
 

THEY WENT OUT ENTHUSIASTIC

 THEY CAME BACK ENTHUSIASTIC

THEY WERE EXCITED ABOUT JESUS

  HIS MESSAGE
 

 THE MESSAGE WAS SIMPLE

 LOVE ME AND MY CREATION

 NO NITPICKING ABOUT DIFFERENCES

 

TO THE JEW

 A GENTILE WAS A SINNER

 BECAUSE HE BROKE THE LAW

 WITHOUT KNOWING IT

 
DIETARY

 HYGIENIC

 SABBATH

FOR THAT HE WAS A SINNER
 

 JESUS SAID

 WHAT GOES IN A MAN’S MOUTH

 DOESN’T DEFILE HIM

 WHAT COMES OUT DOES

 
LOVE ME LOVE MY CREATION

 
THEY MET UP WITH INDIFFERENCE

 BUT KEPT UP TRYING

 I THINK

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE CHURCH TODAY

IS

 WE ARE NOT EXCITED ABOUT JESUS

 

WE LOOK FOR HORRORS IN THE RAPTURE

 JUDGE THAT THE POOR MUST BE BAD

 GOD IS PUNISHING THE WORLD FOR HOMOSEXUALITY

 WHILE REMAINING SILENT DURING THE HOLOCAUST

 ALL THE HOLOCAUSTS

 

 JESUS IS A PRETTY PICTURE

 

THAT WE FORGET

WE HAVE NO ENTHUSIASM FOR HIS MESSAGE

 

 RACHAEL MOURNS HER CHILDREN

 THERE IS NO ONE TO COMFORT HER

 

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BIG TOE

BIG TOE


MY BIG TOE IS BROKE
IT’S NOT A JOKE
IT’S BROKE

I DON’T MEAN TO BE ARCH
OR CALLOUS OR CORNY
BUT IT HURTS
AND IT’S BROKE
AND I FEEL KIND OF MOURNY

I HOPE IT WILL HEEL
BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO FEEL
LIKE I’LL ALWAYS WALK THIS WAY

I DON’T WANT TO RANKLE
MY ANKLE
BY WALKING FUNNY

I CAN’T NAIL IT DOWN
WHEN I BANGED MY BIG TOE

I SAID TO THE DOCTOR I FEEL FUNNY
HE SAID JOIN THE CIRCUS
A TOE LIKE THAT YOU’D MAKE MILLIONS

EIGHT YEARS OF COLLEGE
AND THAT’S THE BEST HE CAN DO
FOR SUCH A DIAGNOSIS
I HAVE TO FOOT THE BILL

MY NOSE IS RUNNING
MY FEET ARE SMELLING
ON TOP OF ALL THAT
MY TOE HURTS
AND EVERYONE THINKS IT FUNNY

 

 

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SIGNS (FOR A SUNDAY WHEN THE GOSPEL DOESN’T SPEAK TO YOU)

 

 

 

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT SIGNS

 

A WOMAN DRIVES HER CAR

ALONG THE HIGHWAY

 
SHE SEES THE MANY SIGNS

 THAT EDGE OUR ROAD

 
SCHOOL AHEAD

GO SLOW

 

THE NEXT CITY - WEST OSSIPEE

 THE MILEAGE, 12 MILES

 LITTLE CAESAR'S PIZZA-PIZZA

 

SHE SEES WASH

 HANGING ON THE LINE,

 

SHE SEES OTHER CARS IN FRONT

OR IN THE CAR MIRROR

 OCCASIONALLY

 WHEN THE LIGHT IS RIGHT

 SHE SEES

 HER OWN FACE

 REFLECTED IN THE WINDSHIELD

 

SHE IS DRIVING BY A CLIFF,

SET BACK FROM THE ROAD.

 IT IS A STEEP CLIFF.

 SO STEEP

 THAT WHEN SHE SEES THE SIGN,

 SHE WONDERS

 HOW ANYONE COULD CLIMB

 THE CLIFF’S FACE

 AND PUT IT THERE.

 

 THE SIGN SAYS

 JESUS SAVES

 WRITTEN IN LARGE CLUMSY LETTERS

 WITH RED PAINT,

 THAT TRICKLES DOWN

 FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE LETTERS

 AS IF THE LETTERS

 WERE FALLING APART

 OR MELTING

 OR MAYBE CRYING

 

 THE SIGN SAYS

 JESUS SAVES

 THAT'S ALL

 

 ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER SIGNS

 OF THE HIGHWAY,

 LIKE RIGHT TURN ONLY,

 TOLL BOOTH AHEAD,

THE SPEED LIMIT

 DESTINATIONS,

 ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER SIGNS

 WAS THIS SIGN

 JESUS SAVES

 

 THE WOMAN

 LIKE MOST OF US

 FELT AWKWARD WITH THE SIGN,

 FELT AN INTERNAL SQUIRM

 AT THE MESSAGE

 EVEN THOUGH

 LIKE MOST OF US

 SHE KNEW IT TO BE TRUE

 

 SHE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE SIGN

  ITS' PUBLIC MESSAGE

 LIKE SAYING GRACE IN PUBLIC

 

 GOD ONLY KNOWS

 WHAT KIND OF PERSON

 MUST HAVE CLIMBED UP THERE,

WITH A BUCKET

 AND A BRUSH

 TO SPLASH THE MESSAGE ON THE CLIFF

 

 MAYBE MAN

 MAYBE WOMAN,

 MAYBE YOUNG OR OLD,

 DRUNK OR SOBER,

 IN DAYLIGHT OR IN THE DARK

 GOD ONLY KNOWS


GOD ONLY KNOWS

 WHAT DROVE THE PAINTER

 TO PAINT THIS SIGN

 SIN OR REDEMPTION,

 JOY OR REMORSE,

 POSSIBLY A DARE,

 POSSIBLY A PRAYER

 

 WHAT EVER THE REASON,

IN OUR STRANGE TIMES,

 AMONG PEOPLE LIKE US

 AMONG PEOPLE JUST LIKE US,

 AMONG US

 

 

 

THE EFFECT

 OF THE MESSAGE ON THE HILLSIDE

 THAT

JESUS SAVES

MAKES US SQUIRM

 

  I THINK

 WE SQUIRM

 BECAUSE WE ARE EMBARRASSED

 . WE ARE EMBARRASSED

 FOR MANY REASONS

 EMBARRASSED

 

 PERHAPS

 BECAUSE THE WORDS

 REMIND US OF OLD TIME RELIGION,

 OF SHOUT AND HOLLER,

 OF PULPIT POUNDING,

 OF GOD'S GONNA GET YOU,

 

.WE SQUIRM

 BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING

 IN THE NAME JESUS ITSELF

THAT EMBARRASSES US

 WHEN IT STANDS NAKED

 AND ALONE

 

 JUST JESUS

 BY ITSELF

WITHOUT A TITLE

 LIKE A FRIEND'S NAME.

 IT MAKES US UNCOMFORTABLE.

 

 WE WOULD ACCEPT

 CHRIST SAVES

 THAT'S HIS JOB.

 BUT JESUS SAVES

 AS IN JESUS SAVES FRANK

 OR BARBARA OR ALICE

 OR JOE OR FRED OR WADE

 OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS

 IS LIKE A LOVER

CARVING HIS AND HIS LOVED ONE'S NAME

 ON A TREE

 

 IT HAS AN AIR ABOUT IT

 LIKE A LOVE SONG.

 

 MAYBE JESUS SAVES

 WRITTEN ON THE CLIFF

 IS EMBARRASSING

 BECAUSE RELIGION

 IN SOME WAYS

HAS BECOME EMBARRASSING

 

 MAYBE OUR WINCING

 IS A WAY

 TO HIDE OUR EYES

 TO STOP UP OUR EARS

 BECAUSE WE SOMEHOW KNOW

 THAT IF THE MESSAGE GOT THROUGH,

 IT WOULD SAY DIRECTLY,

 CLEARLY,

 UNMISTAKABLY

 FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE

 

 THAT WE

 YOU AND I

NEED TO BE SAVE

 
RICH MAN, POOR MAN,

 YOUNG WOMAN, OLD WOMAN,

 EDUCATED,

 UNLETTERED,

RELIGIOUS, UNRELIGIOUS,

 

 ALL OF US,

 YOU AND I,

 ALL OF US,

 NEED TO BE SAVED.

 

 THAT

 IS OFFENSIVE. TO US

 FOR WHAT IT SAYS

 IS

 YOU HAVE NO PEACE

 WITHIN YOUR SKIN-

 YOU ARE NOT HAPPY,

 YOU ARE NOT WHOLE

 

 OUR HUMANITY

 REACTS AGAINST THE THOUGHT,

 OUR SELF SUFFICIENT HUMANITY

 WHICH CONTINUALLY

 WANTS THE APPLE

MORE THAN IT WANTS THE GARDEN,

 REACTS

 AGAINST THE THOUGHT

 

 WHAT FOOL

 WOULD CLIMB THAT CLIFF

 TO WRITE A MESSAGE

 THAT OFFENDS ME.

 WHAT FOOL DARES

 TO GIVE ME SUCH ADVICE

WHAT FOOL DARES

 TO QUESTION

 MY SELF-SUFFICIENCY

 

 IF YOU HAD SAID

 GOD SAVES,

 I COULD ARGUE WITH GOD.

 BUT YOU SAID

 JESUS

 AS IF TO SAY

FRIEND

 

.I SEE THAT FRIEND

 FOR WHAT THE WORLD

 HAS MADE HIM,

A FOOL

 DESPISED AND REJECTED,

 A LAUGHING STOCK AMONG THE NATIONS

 WITH HIS RIDICULOUS SLOGAN

 LOVE ONE ANOTHER

 

  I AM

 EMBARRASSED BY HIM

  THE SIGN ON THE CLIFF

 

 THE BAD THIEF,

 THE ONE ON THE LEFT

 SAID IN A TAUNT

 IF YOU ARE THE CHRIST

 SAVE YOURSELF

 AND SAVE US

 

  HOW LIKE HIM WE ARE

 WHEN OUR LIFE'S ACTIONS

 HANG US ON THE LEFT CROSS,

 WE CRY

 SAVE YOURSELF

  SAVE US

 

 OH, WE ARE NOT SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN.

 BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALWAYS NEED YOU

 ONLY WHEN ALL THE APPLES

 WE HAVE EATEN FROM THE TREE

 MAKE US SICK

 THEN WE NEED YOU

 

 SAVE US, SAVE US

 ME MORE THAN YOU

 SAVE US.

 

 BUT THE GOOD THIEF,

THE ONE ON THE RIGHT,

 REBUKED THE BAD THIEF

 FOR HIS ARROGANCE

 

 THEN SPOKE

 WITH ALMOST THE SAME ARROGANCE,

 JESUS, REMEMBER ME

WHEN YOU COME IN TO YOUR KINGDOM

TWO ARROGANT PETITIONS

 BUT FROM DIFFERENT HEARTS,

 ONE SPOKEN IN ANGER,

 ONE SPOKEN IN TRUST

 IN HOPE

 

 TO THE TRUSTING,

 HOPEFUL HEART

 HE SAID

 TRULY,

 TODAY

 YOU WILL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE

 

I WONDER

 WHAT THE GUARDS THOUGHT

 WHEN THEY HEARD THIS CONVERSATION

 DID IT INTERRUPT THEIR DICE GAME,

 WERE THEY PERHAPS EMBARRASSED

 BY THE GOODNESS

 OF THE MAN THEY WERE KILLING

 OR DID THEY THINK

 THAT THE PAIN

 OF THEIR TORTURE

 HAD ROBBED HIS MIND OF REASON

 

 HOW COULD THAT ONE

 SAVE ANYONE,

 NAILED TO THE TREE

 WITH GOOD STOUT NAILS

 WITH THE SIGN ABOVE HIS HEAD

 WHICH MOCKED HIM AS KING

 

 THEY'D BEEN WITH HIM,

 WHEN THEY'D WHIPPED

 AND CROWNED HIM,

  THEY HAD HEARD

 NEITHER CURSE NOR WHIMPER

 

 NO KING HE

 A LAMB MAYBE

 QUIET IN HIS SLAUGHTER

 BUT NO KING

 

 HOW RIDICULOUS A DEATH,

 DYING ON A HILLSIDE

 LIKE A NAME

PAINTED ON A CLIFF


HOW RIDICULOUS A DEATH,

 DYING ON A HILLSIDE

 LIKE A NAME

 CARVED ON A TREE BY LOVERS

 

  IN THIS NAME

 THE NAME OF JESUS

 WE ARE EMBARRASSED.

 WHY?

 

 PERHAPS IT IS BECAUSE

 WE THINK

 THAT WE ARE UNLOVABLE

 

 WE DO NOT DOUBT

 THAT GOD CAN SAVE US,

 BUT WE DO DOUBT

 THAT SOMEONE COULD LOVE US

 SO MUCH

 AS TO DIE FOR US-

 

TO DIE FOR US

 NOT FOOLISHLY,

 BUT FULLY KNOWING

 OUR UNWORTHINESS

YET STILL WANTING TO SAVE US

 

 I SUSPECT

 THAT THE REAL REASON

 WHY THE NAME

 JESUS

 MAY EMBARRASS US

 WHEN IT STANDS NAKED BY ITSELF

 IS THAT IT PUTS US

 ON A FIRST NAME BASIS

 IT REMINDS US

 OF OUR OWN NEED FOR SALVATION,

 OUR OWN NAKEDNESS

 OUR OWN NAMES

 

 FOR JESUS HAS COME

 TO SAVE BRAD

 SAVE JJ AND PAULA,

 SAVE THERESA,

 SAVE MARY,

 SAVE KAREN AND PETER,

 SAVE MARCIA,

 SAVE ALL OF US-

 

 NOT FOR OUR JOBS,

 NOT FOR OUR TITLES,

 NOT FOR OUR TITHING,

NOT BECAUSE WE ARE RETIRED

 OR WORKING,

 MARRIED,

 SINGLE OR DIVORCED.

 NOT FOR ANY REASON

 EXCEPT HE LOVES US

 

 HE MADE US.

 WE ARE THE WORK OF HIS HANDS

  GOD DOESN'T MAKE JUNK
.
WE ARE A PEARL OF PRECIOUS PRICE
 

 HE LOVES US.

 END OF SENTENCE

HE LOVES

 US

 

 THE MESSAGE ON THE CLIFFSIDE

 CALLS US BY NAME

CALLS ALL OF US

 BY NAME

 

 IT SAYS

 UNCOVER YOUR EYES,

 OPEN YOUR EARS,

 I BRING TRUTH AND HOPE

 FOR ALL THE NEEDING-TO-BE FILLED

 PLACES IN YOUR LIVES

 

 BE LIKE THE GOOD THIEF

 . KNOW THE PAIN OF SURRENDER

 THE PAIN OF KNOWING

 THE HELPLESSNESS

 OF TRYING TO HELP YOURSELF

 CALL ON ME

 

CALL ON ME

 LIKE THE GOOD THIEF

 CALL ON ME

 SAYING

JESUS

 REMEMBER ME,

 WHEN YOU COME

 INTO YOUR KINGDOM

 

REMEMBER ME,

 REMEMBER ME,

 REMEMBER ME.

 EVEN THOUGH I DON'T ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'

 

 JESUS SAYS

 I WILL

 

 WHETHER IT SEEMS PREPOSTEROUS

 IN OUR JUDGMENT

 OR EMBARRASSING

 

 THE SAME GOD

 THAT SAVED THIEVES

 HANGING JUSTLY ON THE CROSS

 ALSO SAVES CLOWNS LIKE YOU

 AND ME

 NOT FOR ANY OTHER REASON,

 THAN THAT HE LOVES US.

 

 JESUS SAYS

 COME TO MY SHOP

 WHERE THERE IS ANOTHER SIGN

 THAT SAYS

 JESUS

 CARPENTER

 MAKER OF EASY YOKES

 WE MAKE YOUR BURDEN LIGHT

 

COME IN

 NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY

 LET ME PROVE IT

 

  AS WE ENTER

 WE CATCH OUR IMAGE

 IN THE WINDOW

 OF HIS SHOP

 

  WE ALSO SEE

 THE REFLECTION OF THE CLIFF

 WITH THE SIGN

 JESUS SAVES

 WE KNOW THE MESSAGE

 IS PERSONAL

TRUE

 AND FOR US.

 

 

 

AMEN

 

 

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

THE CLOWN

THE CLOWN

LITTLE DOG BARKING WILD
PULLED BY CHAIN BY MISTRESS ANGRY
EQUALLY AT DOG AND ME
I HADN'T MEANT TO GIVE OFFENSE
NOR IN MY MIND EVER DID I
I AM NO BEGGAR THOUGH BEG I DO
BUT NOT FOR NOTHING
FOR I WILL SING OR DANCE OR PLAY THE FOOL
FOR YOUR COPPERS I WILL AMUSE YOU
BUT I HAD NOT MEANT TO MAKE HER ANGRY
IN FACT WHEN FIRST IT HAPPENED THIS CLOWN WAS SILENT
CRYING SILENTLY IN SHAME AND HUNGER
ALL DAY I'D LABORED AT MY TRADE
AND NOW WITH NIGHT'S COLD CHILL APPROACHING
NOT ENOUGH FOR COFFEE AND A BUN
TO STILL THE VOICE OF HUNGER TILL THE MORNING
FOR ALWAYS I WOULD SAVE ENOUGH FOR MORNING
A CLOWN MUST START HIS DAY THE BEST HE CAN
NO I HAD NOT MEANT TO MAKE HER ANGRY
BUT THE PUPPY CAME WHEN I WAS SILENT
AND SMELLED MY CLOTHES WHICH MUST CONTAIN
A THOUSAND DREAMS
STANDING UP AGAINST MY LEG
HE TAPPED ME FOR ATTENTION
THEN BARKED A SOUND THAT BROKE MY REVERIE
I SAW HIS FRIENDLY EYES
THE FIRST I'D SEEN ALL DAY
AND BENT TO PET HIM
TO SORT OF SAY HELLO
AND THANKS
SHE PULLED HIM BY THE CHAIN IN SUDDEN ANGER
BUT HE WOULDN'T COME
BUT FOUGHT THE CHAIN
BARKING AND SQUIRMING AND SLIPPING HIS COLLAR
HE CAME RUNNING BACK TO ME
WHO PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM BACK
AND RETURNED MY FRIEND TO HIS CHAIN
WHO RECEIVED NO THANKS EXCEPT SHOULD BE OFF THE STREETS
OFF THEY WENT ONE SILENT
ONE CRYING FOR HIS FRIEND
AND ONE MYSELF HUNGRY WITH THE NIGHT FAST COMING
AND NO CHAIN OR FRIENDS TO HOLD ME

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